Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Ode to Shaq

Speaking of basketball, I'm sorry to see that Shaq, who everyone thought would be great on tv, is turning out to be more like the opposite of good:

As you know, the worst signing of the 2011-12 season wasn't Kwame Brown, Caron Butler or Nene … it was Shaquille O'Neal. Maybe it wasn't shocking that someone who mumbled his way through interviews for 20 years and rarely said anything interesting would negatively impact the best studio show in the history of sports television, but this will become a major problem in the playoffs when everyone just wants to hear Chuck and Kenny. Can TNT use these next two weeks to teach Shaq to basically do a lot of nodding? We don't need him to be Chris Bosh, we need him to be Joel Anthony. Just sit there and smile, Shaq. Let the other guys do their thing.

This morning I heard DJ Static celebrate finding a copy of the obscure 90s Fu Schnickens' "Ode to Shaquille." My younger readers might not be aware of the Big Man's foray into hip hop in the early 1990s, but let's just say it should have been seen by TNT as a harbinger of how he'd do in the analyst's chair. Just like what Bill Simmons recommends he do with Charles and Kenny, watch Shaq sit back and let his more skilled collaborators carry the load.

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